Posted by Silja | Posted in Self-help, Tips & Tricks | Posted on 10-05-2012
I believe most of us will agree with the fact that life is all about constant change—whether we want it, like it or accept it—everything changes around us, about us and with us. And even as it’s been like that since the beginning of the times, it also seems to be one of the things most people like the least. Change means getting out of the comfort zone, going through a learning process and dealing with the unknown—none of which makes us usually jump up and down with joy.
The older and more familiar something is the more comfy it becomes, right?
Well, I used to think so for quite a long time as well, up until I realized that this only makes me more of a control freak and takes most of the joy out of my life. It even went as far with me that I would refuse to try new things in life: sports, hobbies, foods and even travelling destinations—as I was not able to determine the outcome and hence not able to control the situation.
Can you imagine how challenging it is to do anything in life when you feel that you have to have control over every situation and due to it not being possible choose to not enjoy yourself? Well, I know that feeling only way too well!
When control turned into one of my least beneficial parts of life I decided to change my attitude towards change and let go of the huge controlling mania—this is when I became a perfectionist in recovery.
And if you have ever made any huge changes in your life then you can guess how that felt LOL
It totally freaked me out in the beginning. Not knowing what was going to happen; not knowing whether I was going to be good at what I do; not knowing whether I had a chance of succeeding; not having any control over situations, people and my emotions was anything but fun—it was super scary!
Yet, as with anything in life—the more I practiced, the more I realized that letting go of the control was nothing more than fantastic! The benefits of becoming a perfectionist in recovery for me have been huge and I truly recommend it to anyone who has ever felt anxious or afraid about change—start wondering and exploring!
There are many benefits of letting go of control and choosing to adapt to the flow of life, to me the most important ones are:
- 1. Allowing all kind of emotions to surface and to be vulnerable in the moment—seeing life as it presents, opening up to everyday joys and pleasures and having time to breath and feel helps us open up and be in the emotions without questioning them or judging the judgments about them;
- 2. Being more present in the moment, aware of the surroundings and able to empathize—not having the need to control every situation gives more breathing space and allows us to appear in life just the way we are and see what is around us, which in turn gives us the ability to see others the way they are not the way we see them through our past experiences;
- 3. Finding happiness even in not the greatest situations—adapting to “what IS” instead of wanting to change it into what “could be” allows us to enjoy everything simply because there are no expectations that are not being met;
- 4. Keeping creativity energy flowing and opening up to possibilities—looking at life through love instead of anxiety, which is based on the unknown future results, helps us see the opportunities even where there before only used to be challenges, as creativity is based on open mind and open mind cannot exist in stressful situations;
- 5. Taking responsibility for our own actions and emotions—instead of choosing to be vitimatic about situations that don’t go “our way” letting go of control means we can take responsibility for who we are and what we represent—rather than blaming others for not allowing us to follow the “plan.”
Naturally there are several other positive effects to adapting, letting go and becoming a recovering perfectionist—those are the first ones that come to my mind when I look at my own growth and path to enjoying life to the fullest, yet to each their own ;)