I believe most of us will agree with the fact that life is all about constant change—whether we want it, like it or accept it—everything changes around us, about us and with us. And even as it’s been like that since the beginning of the times, it also seems to be one of the things most people like the least. Change means getting out of the comfort zone, going through a learning process and dealing with the unknown—none of which makes us usually jump up and down with joy.

The older and more familiar something is the more comfy it becomes, right?
Well, I used to think so for quite a long time as well, up until I realized that this only makes me more of a control freak and takes most of the joy out of my life. It even went as far with me that I would refuse to try new things in life: sports, hobbies, foods and even travelling destinations—as I was not able to determine the outcome and hence not able to control the situation.

Can you imagine how challenging it is to do anything in life when you feel that you have to have control over every situation and due to it not being possible choose to not enjoy yourself? Well, I know that feeling only way too well!
When control turned into one of my least beneficial parts of life I decided to change my attitude towards change and let go of the huge controlling mania—this is when I became a perfectionist in recovery.
And if you have ever made any huge changes in your life then you can guess how that felt LOL

It totally freaked me out in the beginning. Not knowing what was going to happen; not knowing whether I was going to be good at what I do; not knowing whether I had a chance of succeeding; not having any control over situations, people and my emotions was anything but fun—it was super scary!
Yet, as with anything in life—the more I practiced, the more I realized that letting go of the control was nothing more than fantastic! The benefits of becoming a perfectionist in recovery for me have been huge and I truly recommend it to anyone who has ever felt anxious or afraid about change—start wondering and exploring!

There are many benefits of letting go of control and choosing to adapt to the flow of life, to me the most important ones are:

1. 1. Allowing all kind of emotions to surface and to be vulnerable in the moment—seeing life as it presents, opening up to everyday joys and pleasures and having time to breath and feel helps us open up and be in the emotions without questioning them or judging the judgments about them;

1. 2. Being more present in the moment, aware of the surroundings and able to empathize—not having the need to control every situation gives more breathing space and allows us to appear in life just the way we are and see what is around us, which in turn gives us the ability to see others the way they are not the way we see them through our past experiences;

1. 3. Finding happiness even in not the greatest situations—adapting to “what IS” instead of wanting to change it into what “could be” allows us to enjoy everything simply because there are no expectations that are not being met;

1. 4. Keeping creativity energy flowing and opening up to possibilities—looking at life through love instead of anxiety, which is based on the unknown future results, helps us see the opportunities even where there before only used to be challenges, as creativity is based on open mind and open mind cannot exist in stressful situations;

1. 5. Taking responsibility for our own actions and emotions—instead of choosing to be vitimatic about situations that don’t go “our way” letting go of control means we can take responsibility for who we are and what we represent—rather than blaming others for not allowing us to follow the “plan.”

Naturally there are several other positive effects to adapting, letting go and becoming a recovering perfectionist—those are the first ones that come to my mind when I look at my own growth and path to enjoying life to the fullest, yet to each their own ;)

Just like the weather that has been really moody and changing constantly—I feel the fidgets lately—most of the days seem to be full of challenges and even as I believe in challenges and stepping out of my comfort zone being life changing and maybe even life building, at this very moment all I wish for is some quiet and blissful days….
Maybe you can relate and maybe not, yet to me it seems that the Universe is stirring up more things than ever, almost like giving us a message to clear and grow and be able to take the step to the higher level once again.

I just realized that many people would call the feelings that I am experiencing “anxiousness” yet to me this is word doesn’t really cut it—it’s not high vibrational enough and does not help me in my growth.
Because what is anxiousness? It’s nothing more than our conscious mind telling us that things are not going quite the way we have “planned” and that the future might not going to look exactly the way we “imagined.”
Truth be told, this is not even a genuine emotion, as it’s based on future result and cannot therefore truly be classified. This in turn means that we are simply stirring up emotions based on something we believe because of our past experiences and the stories we have created through them—not allowing ourselves to be in the moment and clinging onto the past as the ultimate truth.

Why is it that simply because something turned out certain way once we make ourselves believe that this is how it’s always going to work out for us? To me there’s nothing in life that always turns out exactly the same way—not even cooking and following the recipe will always give us precisely the same results—depending on the mood we’re in, the passion we put into it, the time we have on our hands and specially the measurements we use—the end result will most likely turn up being different each time.

Being stuck in the old stories is nothing short of limiting and yet we choose to hold on to them—it’s so much easier, truly comfy and less emotional, at least in the short run! In the long run I am sure we all know that it’s not empowering to keep ourselves back from growth, as the lessons will keep coming no matter how much we hide….

Now, what I also believe to be important is the ability to communicate with others, while we are in the midst of growing—it’s important to let them know what we are going through and explain the challenges, so that they get to support us during it all and create the space that allows us to take the leap of faith.
I constantly need to keep reminding myself that when I take the leap I will not land on the higher ground right away—on the contrary, I will end up a bit lower to start out with and then build my way higher by taking baby-steps and creating the new identity for myself. It’s such an easy concept to understand intellectually yet I also realize that most of us are challenged by it more than anything—we want to move forward and a push back usually creates challenges of approving ourselves the way we are….

It always takes a bit time to relax and find the roots after the storm, yet once it happens—bliss falls upon us…. I will move forward keeping that in mind and take one challenge a time! ;)

Once again it has been almost a month since I last faced my thoughts on the computer screen and consulted my fingers for advice on the keyboard…. Time flies and especially when we let it go by procrastinating the things we know we need to face – I do know that very well ;)

So what happens to us in the moment when we keep procrastinating and resisting the change; what comes up to us in the moment when we know we need to face the challenges and yet feel so much shame that we choose to hide our heads in the sand instead of speaking up and getting the spotlights turned our way?

What happens inside of my head when I realize that things have turned out differently than I wanted, when I feel like a failure falling to the ground instead of reaching the sky like I planned?

You know that knot that you get in your stomach, the feeling of anxiousness crawling up to the throat, that appears when we see ourselves failing and not knowing how to save our face from “all that shame?” We can probably all agree that it is not a pleasant feeling and unfortunately we create it all inside our heads—thinking that when we fall backwards we are failing in our goals and fall further away from our dreams. Truth be told, actually it is the perfect setup for a success-story!

As not only does it always work out perfectly in the end, taking a step back or falling backwards is also something that gives us the strength to move forward faster, stronger and bigger!
Now, think of how you would set yourself up for a jump, what would be the first step you do before jumping as high up towards the ceiling as possible? Try it out!

;)

So, what did you do? I bet you bent your knees in order to set yourself off to a super leap and in order to be able to jump as high as you possibly can ;) Didn’t you?
Therefore, whatever we consider to be falling and failing is technically just a set-up motion towards greatness!

And going even deeper into it—we are not even failing, even as we fall off from the wagon of success the way that we define it. I believe that our biggest issues are connected to expectations and planning the perfect ending—please don’t get me wrong—I am all about planning certain things like meetings, appointments, trips etc. yet at the same time I believe that we cannot plan life and expect specific outcomes, as things will always end up the most perfect way for us and we are not always able to see that while “being caught up in planning the perfect ending.”

Whether we like it or not, we can be very shortsighted when it comes to our life, our vision is mostly blurred by expectations. I suppose we end up getting confused in the midst of all the dreaming and planning, not realizing that if we haven’t been practicing long enough we can easily misunderstand expectations for dreaming.
Expecting means we are looking for a particular outcome according to what we have planned and worked for, yet dreaming has to do with releasing ourselves from the constant mind-chatter and creating possibilities without getting attached to them and being caught up in the “realities of our life” simultaneously.

As I see it, when we let go of our expectations and choose dreaming to give our life wings and at the same time let go of fear of falling, as it is the thing that gives us the power surge towards greatness, we can step into the present moment and see it for what it is—beautiful in its vulnerability even with the fear and shame….

One thing is certain, I am only capable of creating what I understand and am aware of and therefore the more I get to practice the more I grow—just like babies when they learn how to walk ;) one step at a time!

Whenever I ask people whether they think they are just their bodies the answer is “NO!” It seems to be so logical to us that we are so much more than just the physical beings we sometimes come across as—we all know we have bodies that need to be taken care of and most of the times those same bodies also give us huge challenges in form of weight, aches and pains, yet we seem to be quite well aware of the fact that we are much more than just our bodies or just our minds. It is safe to say that most people realize that we humans are a perfect combination of the body, mind and soul….

If we all know this so well that we are a combination of different aspects, please someone explain to me why most of us are mainly focusing on developing one? Let’s take professional athletes as an example! It’s almost no matter what sport we look at—the bigger the better of course, so NHL, NBA and NFL are perfect for that example—we know that those guys are paid top dollars for being the best on the field. Having a personal trainer is almost as natural as going to bed in the evening in order to get some sleep—they all know that without keeping their bodies fit and in great shape they are not able to be the best in their field.

Now, we just determined that most of us are aware of the fact that we can only do well when our wholesome body works in perfect co-operation; when our body, mind and soul are connected and move towards the same direction. It would probably not make any sense to anyone to use four wheels on a car and make sure that they all pull in a different direction—yet somehow it makes perfect sense to not adjust body, mind and soul to same frequency so that they would be able to work towards the same goal!

I’ve been personally working with many professional athletes and am in close contact with lots of people who are connected to top athletes in several fields, so I can with confidence say that having a personal life coach or therapist is not something that most of them practice. Unfortunately!

How could anyone expect to be great at something if their mindset is not tweaked to guide them towards greatness? How can success be possible if one is constantly doubting ones’ abilities, having low self-esteem or creating “vicious circle” of “not being worth it?” Even the best athlete cannot win based on physical abilities or talent only—this works merely in youth, the older and more practiced someone’s body becomes, the less of a chance that physical talent will be the only factor in success.

I believe that games/races/competitions on the professional level are not won based solely on who’s being better—someone usually wins because the others are making more mistakes than the winner. I mean, we are talking about pros who’s only job is to be great at their sport, pros who work out 6 times a week and pros who focus and concentrate their life on one thing only—their respective sports. Mistakes, on the other hand, rarely happen based on our physical body—muscle memory is such a magnificent thing that if we could only shut down the “mind-chatter” that wants to perfect everything over the top and rely instead on things our bodies know, telling ourselves how great we are doing and focusing on visualizing where we want to reach, winning would be a totally different game.

So, let me ask you one more time—if body, mind and soul are all part of a human being, making it into what it is meant to be—the full 100% of perfection, how come professional athletes are mostly relying on the physical part only, forgetting how important it is to make the connections work and act like well-oiled team?

It would be amazing to see top athletes starting focusing more on their emotional and mental aspect of the sport and their own individual personas—and putting the whole 100% back into the “game.”
Naturally, no results can be created overnight, yet with a bit of an effort and lots of support—mindsets can be changed and champions can appear….

He we are again—in the middle of another ordinary day full of everyday hustling and challenges. This day can turn out to be the most amazing day ever or the most challenging one—depending on what we choose.

Now, we all know that it’s super easy to decide to go for the positive and wonderful because who wouldn’t want to have an amazing day? However, when the time comes for choosing and creating, it can turn out to be rather tricky to follow it through…. This is where we usually choose actions that will help us make it legitimate and feel better about ourselves—we create excuses, finding reasons to justify the negative feelings, acting on low vibrational emotions and not being aware of what kind of energy we create around ourselves….

Have you ever wondered what makes it so easy to fall from the happy and inspiring ‘good morning’ to an ‘I’m tired, so don’t talk to me or I’ll bite your head off’ afternoon/evening?
Have you ever wondered why is it that we get caught up in our own thoughts, criticizing and loss of awareness over how we choose to create our own day in challenging moments?

I’ve been giving it quite a lot of thought since supporting people is one of my passions and based on my profession as PFT (Personal Freedom Trainer) I often end up guiding on the topic of motivation and awareness.
It used to be a mystery to me—to understand why would people choose to stay in the state of negativity and to make matters even less good, bring others down with them? It took me a while to realize that not everyone is aware of their own power, the energy behind their thoughts and words and ability to choose freely—and when I finally grasped it, it felt like ton of bricks had hit me—they are not even AWARE of their own behavior, thoughts and emotions!

How could I ever expect someone to understand something when they are not even aware of the situation and their own position in it!

The truth of a matter is that not being aware of our own powers can cause quite a lot of turbulence in our lives – we will look for lots of external excuses and blame others for our challenges instead of realizing that we are the only common denominator in all the situations…. It is the least empowering thing we can do to ourselves—to believe that we have no power and that ‘things just happen’ to us.

At the same time, I have yet to meet a person, who wouldn’t want to be empowered, positively charged, inspired and motivated to live every day to the fullest—we all pretty much seem to be yearning for the same things in life—happiness, love, peace of mind and empowerment. The difference between those who already have it or at least are well on their way and those who have just realized that this is what they want or don’t even know yet what they desire in life, is that the first group is aware of who they are, what kind of powers they have and how they treat themselves and the second group has no awareness, up until now that is ;)

So, let’s work on the awareness and slowly start brining in the possibilities that you want to create! Below are few questions to start you off on the awareness road—seemingly simple questions, although if you need to think a long time in order to find the ‘right’ answer and ‘discuss’ it in your head, then it’s not really something you are aware of yet….

Enjoy the journey towards awareness! ;)

1. 1. How would you describe yourself (not the physical appearance)?
2. 2. Is it easy for you to say good things about yourself?
3. 3. What would you change about yourself? Do it without hitting yourself with a baseball bat—simply look at yourself as an exciting project full of possibilities and opportunities.
4. 4. Do you know what is missing in your life? Once again—go for emotions and feelings instead of physical and material things.
5. 5. What 3 words would you use in order to describe a typical day of yours? Say the 3 things that come to your mind first, without editing or paying attention what energy or vibration there is behind them.
6. 6. How do you think your friends would describe you (not what you wish they would say about you)?
7. 7. What is the one word that would describe your life at the moment?

Here we go again—the time of the year is here when most Northern Americans and some other parts of the World population are either going to feel amazing because they have someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with or not so great because they have no significant other in their lives and even if they are happy to be alone, the social pressure makes them wonder whether it really is such a good thing not to have the special partner to spend this Hallmark holiday with….

Isn’t it remarkable how we let the society dictate how we are supposed to feel on certain occasions? I am sure that most of us realize that just because someone has chosen to not be in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that they are not doing great or not living a fulfilling and purposeful life—and in fact, most of the times it can actually be quite the opposite—yet many people still find themselves questioning on occasions like this….

Unfortunately, way too often we let the media and the “norms created by media” dictate our well-being and place in life…. We look at the models as the perfect, healthy and balanced examples of beautiful women—although we know that often it’s very far from the case; we look at the romantic movies to paint the picture of a perfect, loving and respectful relationship—knowing in our hearts that what makes a relationship perfect is great communication and quite a lot of work; and still rather often we seem to be striving towards what we have seen “others” have, wondering whether the grass is truly greener on the other side….

Yes, those are the not so great effects of this loving celebration of Valentine’s Day, yet on the other side—I actually like what this day stands for and represents. Not the “buy me an expensive gift and totally overpriced flowers and take me to a fancy restaurant to show the rest of the world that you love me”- part, although what girl would say no to all that LOL
I like the idea of reflecting on the loving relationships in my life, telling the people I care about how much I love them and expressing my gratitude for having the ability to love, care and share ;) This is the true part of Valentine’s Day that I cherish and hope to share with many of my wonderful friends and loved ones!

Naturally, it’s up to everybody whether they choose to celebrate their love with expensive gifts or not, yet I am sure that showing your loved ones what they really mean to you is nothing but a wonderful idea and present—we never know when our time is up or what life brings and there are not too many more rewarding things than sharing your feelings of love and appreciation with others—that’s what I consider a true gift….

So, partner or no partner, gifts or no gifts—how about we choose to celebrate love anyway? Let’s make this Valentine’s Day truly remarkable holiday of love—unconditional love for ourselves, our families and friends—let’s turn the heat on with smiles, hugs and lots of love and see how everything seems to be greater when seen through the eyes of love….

Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody near and far! ;)

The older we get the more opinions we have—we have learned lots of lessons and figured out many of our likes and dislikes. The chances are that if you are in your thirties or older, your core beliefs are as firm as solid ice in Arctic and the time it would take you to change them is in straight correlation with your age, meaning you stand more than confidently by your beliefs.
Now, here’s a question—just because we are firmly holding on to our beliefs, does that mean we always know the reasoning behind them and why we believe in them or are they sometimes our beliefs because ‘this is how it has always been?

Many of our beliefs have been carried over from our parents, teachers, mentors and/or friends—some of them can actually be quite outdated and have no real value in our lives—yet we choose to hold on to them because this is what we are made of, our core values and beliefs are important and not discussable.
Often times, having adapted someone else’s belief system leads people away from happiness and positivity to feeling like there is nothing to be done that can change the course of their life, nothing that can make them happy….

I say this with such a conviction because happiness and positivity are strongly based on our belief system and thought patterns, they reside deep inside us and have created a certain life-cycle—for some it’s the positive and happy cycle, for others it seems to be a negative and not the happiest one. And it’s not because our beliefs are necessarily negative—it’s simply because those core values we choose to live by are not ours and don’t work for what we are aiming for and reaching towards.

The first step in everything is the awareness—the realization that something isn’t working and we definitely need to have the desire to change the situation, as realization only will not give us the results.

The second step is to find the pattern that needs to be changed—the things that we keep doing, the loop that we’re in, which is the reason for us not feeling happy.

And then we can focus on the change. To change something is a very simple process—the decision and will to change can be much more challenging. In order to be able to change we need to create a new identity and that’s where people often stop—the amount of effort it seems to take can be a bit overpowering….

The good thing is that we don’t always need to jump to the moon and back within a split-second in order to create the new identity—we can take the time needed for change and walk with baby-steps. Before we realize it, baby-steps have gotten us through a whole marathon and the very same change we were so afraid of has happened and turned into the present identity we are choosing to nurture ;)

Have you ever mentally beaten yourself up for something you think you could have done better and not succeeding at; simply telling yourself off for not being as perfect as it happened in your imagination and totally failing to enjoy the moment?
Welcome to the world of perfectionists!

People can say what they want and I agree that there are few times in life where being a perfectionist actually works out great—like when you need to file important documents, clean an apartment or create medicine and measure different ingredients. True, those are the situations where being perfect in what you do works out extremely well—yet pay attention, I said what you do and not who you are….

There’s a huge difference in being perfectionist at work with your assignments (although even here can a true perfectionist be a total pain in the bum lol) and being a perfectionist about your life. The latter becomes a total burden in every sense and will take the joy out of being alive, making it rather not possible to stay in the present moment enjoying life for what it is….
Living life as a perfectionist means that in every situation one chooses to analyze, criticize and perfect things—it becomes more of a meaning of life than a necessity and without things being totally perfect there is no peace of mind…

Quite a few years ago, being perfectionist became a total burden for me and I decided to turn things around—I became a recovering perfectionist instead, meaning that I chose to become constantly aware of letting myself be and enjoy things the way they occur—I said yes to a lifelong learning process on how to be unconsciously in the state of mind that lets me be in the moment instead of consciously having to make the changes in my understanding and focusing on things that will not let me grow and feel empowered, the petty things that will only give me 2% extra on the perfectionist scale yet take 80% extra effort and all the fun out of it.

You could say that what’s the point of calling myself a recovering perfectionist if I have changed? Well, just the same way like alcoholics who have turned their life around will call themselves recovering alcoholics—to remember where we are heading, to look into the future and see the destination as a reward, to keep in mind where losing awareness can take us and to own the whole picture, to be authentic about who I am, what I can do & be and what I have created.

I can honestly say that my journey has been extremely rewarding—life is so much more empowering, joyful and wonderful when I get to simply enjoy it and have close to no expectations. Every now and then I realize that I am criticizing myself yet the cool thing is that I have already achieved rather a good level of awareness and therefore being able to choose whether I stop it or continue—and as you can guess, most of the times I stop it before it even gets going ;)

Since it has been working that well for me, I thought I’ll share some of the points on How to become a recovering perfectionist:

1. Realize that you are a perfectionist. Paying attention to how you treat yourself—are you overanalyzing situations and want to do them over and over again until they get perfect or are you giving yourself a brake and don’t sweat the small stuff?
2. Figure out which situations trigger you to turn into a perfectionist. It is always a good idea to keep a diary/journal and write down your thoughts on criticizing yourself. Pay attention to thoughts that lead you to analyzing and specific situations that make you turn on the switch.
3. Use the “switch” to change in that very situation. When you catch yourself criticizing yourself, change it right away and praise yourself instead for realizing it. Make a 180-degree turn in your behavior the moment you become aware of your old behavior and consciously create new habits instead.
4. Acknowledge your progress and reward yourself for being able to stay in the moment. Whenever you are able to change the old habit—make sure to celebrate. When something becomes a positive habit, it’s easier to repeat it.
5. Keep repeating the same process and stay in the awareness. It’s not a short-term solution and needs constant attention up until it becomes unconscious and old habits have been totally replaced by new ones. Since there are millions of situations you’ve been through with your old perfectionistic self, it takes a while to get there.

Those are the simple steps that worked for me—if you have other tricks and tips—please, feel free to share them with me!

To all the recovering perfectionists out there—good job! ;)

Have you ever felt a hole inside your heart—feeling alone and lonely even while surrounded by a huge group of people, people who love you, care about you and are willing to do anything for you? If you’ve ever felt like this then you know that for some reason there seems to be nothing that repairs this hole, nothing that can fill it or take it away—this hole is bigger than everybody’s good intentions, love and support; it’s darker than the deepest night and heavier than the load of the Universe on someone’s shoulders…. Or at least that’s how it seems in the moment….

What happens to us in the moments when nothing seems to have a purpose, reason or meaning, when everything seems to be the opposite to sunny, happy and joyful is that we are focusing only on the past—what was a moment ago and we are not able to let go. We are not able to let go for quite a few reasons: this is what we “used to” identify ourselves by; the fear of the unknown is so big that we don’t even want to think about it; the secondary gain of being attached to the “past” is much bigger than any possible achievement from the new reality; and in the moment there seems no other options available.

In reality, all those reasons are simply different parts of the same equation—we don’t know how to adapt to the change, how to see light in the end of the tunnel as we are only able to see one way—the way we’re used to and the way we are familiar with….

First things first! What does it mean to be used to the identity? Our identity is something we start building pretty much since the day we are born—it’s how we see ourselves, our core beliefs and values, our understanding of the world and people, what makes us happy, what we like and don’t like. It’s who we are deep inside our hearts. When things happen and the ground starts shaking under our feet, the identity either needs to adapt accordingly or we need to create a new identity. Both changes can be rather challenging and require lots of time and work on ourselves.

Well, we all go through changes in life constantly, whether it’s just a change of wardrobe or food choices or a bigger change of lifestyle in form of a new job, living conditions or partner. As you know, change is constant and probably the only thing we can count on in life—everything changes regularly starting from the weather and the cells in our body—there’s nothing we can do about most of these changes yet there is always something we can do about the way we choose to look at them.

If I would build up my life on a dream of having the exact same weather conditions for 365 days a year, I would most likely be disappointed for 364 days a year! Even if I would dream of the weather being similar each day I would probably still be disappointed more than satisfied with the circumstances, as the perfect state only exists in my head and I have no way of “talking the weather into changing accordingly.”
Now, if I choose to accommodate my life according to the moment, waking up every morning, seeing how the weather looks like and then making the necessary adjustments to my attitude and also wardrobe—I will more likely succeed in being satisfied and also be emotionally in a much happier place.

Having no expectations and taking it just the way it is, changing according to the need and adapting to situations when they appear instead of planning the end results before the outcome is clear, will definitely be resulting in bigger portion of emotional satisfaction and happiness.

That’s why I like the 100/0 principle—where I always do my best to give 100% in any given situation and expect 0% in return. This way, I will always be happy and positively surprised with whatever life offers, what others do or don’t do and what situations appear, as in this case, even 0,5% is much more than what I expected.
This way, I don’t need to create stories in my head on why things didn’t go the way that I had “planned” as they rarely do anyway…. Remember, if you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans! ;)

I guess having a hole inside the heart only means that we need to adapt to the situation, learn from it and create new possibilities, new outcome and new understandings of happiness and belonging….

In the end there are always two ways of looking at things and it’s up to us, which way we choose!

Long gone are the days for the Western world when food used to be there just to keep us alive, enable us to work and help us survive in the brutal weather and living conditions. For the Western culture food has become so much more than just a single piece in the survival puzzle, quite on the contrary, food has for many become a puzzle piece in the scenario of “suffocating the pain and shutting down the body.” We blame the fat, sugar and calorie content in the food, in us becoming heavier and less healthy, forgetting that no one really forces the food down on us and that we no longer eat to satisfy the hunger—we eat in order to protect our souls.

We can control the calorie intake, eat healthy and workout according to the plan, yet often nothing really changes—the pounds we’ve gained stay on the body as a supporting, safety cushion—reminding us constantly what we don’t like about ourselves. The funny thing though is that the same things we are running away from while eating—sadness and fear—will come back to us when we see the results of the food on our body.

Now don’t get me wrong—it’s not like everyone in the Western world has gone into food binge and overeating constantly! In fact I know for sure that there are millions of people who are strictly watching what they eat and put a lot of effort into their workout regime. What is it then that keeps a lot of those people still feel not satisfied with themselves and especially their bodies, experiencing challenges with certain extra pounds?

I believe that even though experts say food has to do with up to 65 or more % of the weight controlling in our life—food and exercise are definitely secondary in keeping our bodies vigorous and weight to the healthy levels. It’s the underlying emotions that control our behavior without us even being aware of it. And if we are not aware of it how can we ever change it?

Now, most of you might say that there are no unresolved emotional issues in your life that would keep your body asking for extra food and/or keeping the weight on. Well, the truth of the matter is that we often not really aware on most of the things our unconscious mind holds on to.
A lot of times extra weight around the belly—your wonderful tummy—is simply there to protect you form some things that you didn’t like in your past. Up until you choose to resolve, release and forgive to yourself for whatever those things are—your tummy will still do its job—to protect you and stay where it is, no matter how much you work out, eat healthy or control your life.

As funny or weird as it might sound to you, unless we really choose to take charge and change our understanding nothing will happen. So, in order for us to really let go of the extra weight in those specific body parts, there are few steps that need to be taken:

1. First, love all of it—the extra pounds, the fat, the cellulite and, in your own mind, the not so cute parts of your body.
2. Then take time to thank all of it for being there for you, for protecting you in thick and thin and for loving you even when you didn’t love yourself fully.
3. It’s important that you forgive yourself for not being able to be there for your body, mind and soul fully—for shutting down in fear of what certain things might mean to you, for not wanting to change and take charge.
4. Once all of this is done, you can finally ask the extra weight to let go of the protective role. Assure it that you can and are able to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally and physically. That it’s time for the extra weight to go for good.
5. In order for you to stay in charge and keep your body healthy, you need to be aware of your emotions and how you are treating yourself throughout the life.
6. Put yourself first at all times! Self-love is the key in every situation and challenge (and keep in mind, it’s also totally different from selfishness!)

Let’s bring the self-love into equation while talking about food, exercise and vigorous body-mind-soul combination!